How Can Infant Mental Health Inform Your Parenting?
Wait, Babies Have Mental Health?
The first time I heard the term “Infant Mental Health”, I skeptically chuckled to myself. I immediately pictured a toddler lying on a couch, talking to Sigmund Freud about their childhood. The whole idea seemed ludicrous. Babies in therapy? Come on. But I sat with my curiosity long enough to learn something that was both obvious and kind of mind-blowing:
Infants have mental health needs too.
A Different Kind of Mental Health
When we talk about mental health, it’s usually through the lens of something being broken — healing trauma, rewiring thought patterns, managing anxiety or depression. Infant mental health takes a different approach. It asks:
What if we supported a child’s emotional and relational needs really well from the very beginning?
It’s less about “fixing” and more about building. It reminds me of that old proverb: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. When babies are nurtured in ways that make them feel safe, seen, and unconditionally loved, they build a kind of emotional bedrock. And that foundation shapes everything: how they relate to themselves, how they trust others, how they handle stress, how they love.
My Personal Proof
I don’t say this just as a coach or a nurse. I’ve lived it.
When I was 38, I found myself single for the first time since I was 15. My marriage ended in divorce — something I never expected. Alongside the grief and disorientation, I was suddenly navigating dating again, trying to rebuild my life and maybe find a new partner.
One night, I went to a social event where I didn’t know a single person. I walked into the room, and no one looked up. No one smiled. No one recognized me. I felt a looming wave of loneliness dangling over me — and a desire for someone, anyone, to notice me.
But then I paused. I sat with that feeling. And something deep in my chest said “I’m OK. I don’t need anyone in this room to tell me I’m lovable or worthy”.
That moment didn’t come from a motivational quote or a podcast. It came from somewhere much older. I recognized that from my earliest memories, my parents communicated safety and unconditional love in a consistent, unconditional way. Even though my mom didn’t have the same experience growing up, she chose to model her parenting on healthier examples. And because of that, I received a blessing I’ve carried for decades:
I know I am enough.
The Blessing You Can Pass On
That is the kind of gift I want every parent to give their child:
You are safe with me. You are loved, without needing to earn it.
That’s infant mental health. It’s not about doing everything “right.” It’s not about perfection; it’s about relationship & emotional safety. And it’s about knowing that the way we parent in the earliest years can create resilience, confidence, and emotional security that last a lifetime.
And if you didn’t receive that kind of foundation yourself? You can still offer it to your child. That’s the beauty of it — healing doesn’t have to start with you, but it can start through you.
